Far from Light
by Fififjonka
Summary: Set after TDW. Someone finds Loki after he supposedly dies and possesses him to use against Thor, making him a merciless and destructive monster. It's up to Thor to stop him, even if that means to kill him... Meanwhile Loki battles his inner demons and finds an unlikely help from a young woman he abductes. Slightly AU, no slash, Thor&Loki, Thor/Sif, Loki/OC. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

The whispering wouldn't stop.

Creeping, crawling, invading his mind again and again. Loki pressed his hands on his temples, shutting his eyes close.

"Silence…" he muttered. "Be silent!"

But the voices were like invisible insect he couldn't smash.

 _Who are you? A shadow… death… you are death… You bring doom and misery… and pain…_

"Silence!" he shouted. His voice thundered around the waste ice cave and he looked up, confused momentarily. He looked down at his hands. They were bluish, with dark veins visible under the skin. He touched his face. It was like ice.

Loki moaned. He didn't remember anything. He couldn't remember how he had got there. Where was he?

A sound of sobbing disturbed him and he looked up. Someone was standing in front of him. A young woman with golden hair, trembling in the freezing cold that was radiating from him in waves.

"Who are you?" he asked. He almost wouldn't recognize his own voice. It was deep and hard.

"Brenna," the woman whispered. Loki frowned. She reminded him of someone. So, so familiar... And then he remembered he had taken her and her siblings from the farm the other night. He tilted his head on side. Why bringing her here? What had stopped him from killing her? He was sure he hadn't seen her until last night, yet she seemed _so_ familiar.

 _Not her… She's not her… She's nothing… Nothing to you… She means nothing…_

"Quiet," he murmured.

"Don't hurt me," Brenna whispered back. Loki stood up and she started.

"Are you cold?" he asked quietly. She gave him a small nod. He took off his long coat and walked over her. She cowered when he put the coat around her shoulders and appeared shocked by his gentle gesture.

"Can I see my brothers? And my sister?"

Loki was silent. What was it he found so well-known about her? Why couldn't he remember? And the voices… The voices wouldn't leave him alone…

 _Murderer... Monster..._

"Please, don't cry," he said and touched her shoulder. Someone screamed in his head. He bend over with his eyes closed, feeling his head throbbing painfully. He took a step back from her and regained his composure, breathing deeply. She stopped crying and was giving him an incredulous look. Tears were glimmering on her cheeks. He couldn't bear to see them. It was like he had already seen them before.

 _Stop... she means nothing to you. Her father will come to look for her and you will send him for your brother..._

Brother...

"Will you let me go?" Brenna asked in a weak voice. Loki nodded slowly, albeit he had no intention to do it.

"After my brother comes."

 _Yes, your brother… Your brother is the point. Let your brother come… Let him walk into the caves and he will never walk out again…_

Yes, that was the only thing that mattered, Loki remembered suddenly. His brother. His brother must come to him so he could kill him.

* * *

"I need to speak to the king!"

A peasant in ragged clothes, exhausted and malnourished, was kneeling on the ground, shaking with fear and fatigue. Heimdall was watching him warily. It wouldn't be the first time someone would play tricks on them and it was too peaceful in Asgard now – since Thor had been the king – to risk an intruder. Heimdall knew many people had put their guard down after such a long time of peace. He knew the peace was actually making them more vulnerable.

"You came from Vanaheimr," Heimdall said. The peasant didn't dare to look at him, his eyes closed in fear, and he merely nodded.

"Are you a low Vanir?" Heimdall asked and the man nodded again.

"My name is Audun," he said. "I'm a farmer."

"A farmer…"

Heimdall walked over him.

"I will have to cuff your arms before I take you to the king," he said. Audun looked like passing out but he held his arms stretched as Heimdall put shackles on them.

"What is it you need the king's help with?" Heimdall asked then. Audun shivered as he spoke.

"He… he told me to find him. To find the king Thor. He told me to bring him with me…"

"Who?"

"We don't know his name. He's the shadow. He's the darkness. He's the frost that keeps coming every night, killing our cattle, stealing our children…"

Audun's voice died.

"And h-he… he came to my house and took my sons and daughters…"

Audun broke into a cry. Sobbing, he looked up.

"He told me to go to the king Thor. He told me he would give me my children back if I brought the king to him."

"Why?"

"He said… he said the king was his brother."

* * *

Thor couldn't believe what he was hearing. Vanaheimr had been safe for a long time. How come something like that could escape their sight? His sight? They kept all the realms safe. Could it be possible this man was lying? He certainly didn't look like it.

"Tell me all, man. You don't have to be afraid, nothing will hurt you here. But tell me all you know – from the beginning," Thor said, exchanging looks with Heimdall. What he saw in his eyes didn't add to his unease.

"Speak, please," he gestured calmly. The man who had been given food and water was now sitting in front of him, less shivery but still pale and scared.

"It's started before winter. Our winters were never so severe and they never last so long like this one. We've started seeing that… that cloud. A black shadow creeping on the sky above us and on the ground under our feet. Not only in my village but all around. When the cloud came our cattle would die or vanish from the barns. Our corn supplies would turn black… frozen. And then… people started disappearing. Our… our children… They wouldn't come back home…"

Audun paused, his eyes teary.

"He took my children too. He's taken them from our house. I was blinded by darkness and couldn't move. It felt like ice running in my veins…"

Audun's voice was almost inaudible then.

"And when the darkness lifted up, they were gone. I went to the mountains to search for them. There are caves going deep into the rocks and under the ground and the cloud always comes from that place. I kept looking for them days and nights… And then he came to me."

Thor straightened up.

"Who?"

" _Him_ ," Audun said. "But it's not a man. It's a shadow. A blue-eyed monster."

"Describe him."

"I couldn't see him for he was hidden in the darkness but I saw his eyes. Blue like ice. And he told me to bring you, the great king Thor, to him. If I ever wanted to see my children again."

Audun gave Thor a desperate look. Then he widened his eyes as he noticed the statue of white marble standing behind Thor.

"Who is she?" he asked in amazement. Thor didn't have to turn to know who he meant.

"Frigga," he said. "My mother."

"She... looks exactly like my Brenna."

Thor fell silent, looking at Heimdall. He didn't like where this was heading. He feared it, actually.

"We still have no proof it's him," Heimdall said. "It could be an impostor, it could be anyone and anything. Loki is dead."

Audun moved forward, holding something in his hand.

"He gave me this for you," he said. Heimdall wanted to stop him but Thor raised his arm, getting up and walking over the man. He took what he was giving him and as he looked down at it, he felt coldness spreading in his chest.

"That can't be…" he whispered, shaken by the memories brought back so suddenly.

He _himself_ gave him this thing. It was a gift for Loki's birthday.

"Loki…"

* * *

 **More explaination as the story goes. I hope you liked. Please, drop a comment and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

Brenna couldn't tell how long she had been sitting on the cold ground. Without his coat she would freeze to death in no time. After he had given it to her he disappeared in the darkness and silence fell around. She felt like buried in a grave.

Had he still been there? Watching her from the darkness?

Suddenly she heard a strange cracking noise growing louder and louder. It was the sound of a stone being frozen through. The air got even colder and Brenna wrapped the coat tighter around herself. Something was happening. She felt waves of coldness penetrating the air around her.

"Woman…"

Brenna stiffened as he spoke from the darkness. His voice was weirdly distorted.

"Sing a song," he commanded. Brenna opened her mouth in bewilderment.

"I... I can't..."

"Sing a song. Or I'll think of you as a waste of space and will get rid of you."

Brenna gulped. The last thing she thought of at the moment was singing.

"Sing a song!" he shouted furiously.

"I... can't. When I can't see you... I'm scared when I can't see you," Brenna said. The darkness lifted up slowly, merging into faint bluish light, revealing him sitting on the ice throne in front of her.

Brenna gave a shriek of shock, covering her mouth. He was ghastly pale in the face and the veins on his neck and face were dark as if his blood turned black. But his eyes were the worst. They were burning red like boiling blood. And yet, in some horrific way, it was a hauntingly _beautiful_ face.

"Sing a song," he said through gritted teeth, his face strained and his eyes glimmering as if in pain.

Brenna took a deep breath and started singing an old lullaby. He kept watching her for some time, then leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He was breathing heavily and his hands were clutched into fists. The black veins were still bulging on his neck and face and Brenna sang with her heart beating franticly, staring at him with fascination and horror.

* * *

"That's insane," Fandral said.

"That's a mission," Sif corrected him.

"An insane mission," Fandral said.

"You're not planning to go alone, are you," Volstagg said. "We won't leave you anyway."

"I _must_ go alone," Thor said. He was expecting exactly the same reactions from them but he needed to make sure they would protect Asgard in case of need.

"You're mad," Hogun said. "You can't go alone. You don't know what evil you could be facing."

"I really hate when that bastard won't stop it even after he _dies_. Wouldn't you kill him?" Volstagg said angrily and Hogun and Fandral snorted.

"But how?" Hogun asked. "Where has he been all the time?"

"I don't know," Thor said. He didn't want to admit to them how much it pained him to think about it. He missed Loki and his death still hurt him but there was reconciliation. There was deliverance. If Loki survived, he returned to his old ways of violence and destruction. And that was more painful to Thor than thinking about his death. He wished with all his heart someone else was behind it in the end. He couldn't bear the thought of fighting Loki _again_ , seeing the wrath in the brother he had once loved, seeing the _emptiness_ in him.

"I will go with you," Sif said. Thor shook his head.

"Forget it. I need you here."

"They will protect Asgard just fine," Sif said. "And you can't go alone, that's unthinkable."

"She's right," Volstagg said. "But I'll go. I really want to kick that slime's ass."

"I'll go," Hogun said. "You are getting too old and clumsy, Thor needs a good warrior."

"Enough," Thor said when Fandral wanted to speak up. "Nobody's coming, I – "

"Think twice, Thor," Heimdall interrupted them all. "The message didn't say you are to go alone. And it is unwise to do so. You really don't know what you could be facing. If not for yourself, do it for the people you are supposed to save."

"Don't you hate how he's always so wise we look like dunces?" Volstagg muttered.

"Only look?" Hogun raised an eyebrow.

"What is it with you and all the hating anyway?" Fandral asked mockingly. "Show a bit of love, would you be so kind?"

"Oh, stop it," Thor said impatiently, looking back at Heimdall.

"I propose you take two of them, let the rest guard Asgard. We can put up the shield while you're gone."

"Listen to the wise man!" Volstagg exclaimed.

"I agree," Thor said after a long while of hesitating. He didn't want to put his friends in more danger than necessary but Heimdall was right. He didn't know what to expect and going completely alone was foolish.

"But we'll let the runes decide. I won't waste my time arguing with you all."

"I hate runes," Volstagg said and Fandral laughed. Thor brought a small sack and put two rune stones and three plain stones into it, letting them pick.

"Sif and Volstagg?" Fandral said, disappointed. Sif smirked and Volstagg punched Fandral's shoulder.

"You'll go next time that treacherous ferret shows up," Volstagg said. Thor knew how they felt. It was an adventurous mission for them. And they had always disliked Loki and couldn't understand why he would stand up for him again and again.

"We must prepare," Thor said. "We are leaving at dawn."

Thor spent the night thinking. The serpent ring was lying on the table in his room. A gift for Loki he had made for him. It was the snake Jörmungandr, the snake of eternity. He gave it to Loki to remind him of transience of all the shallow matters; he wanted him to see some things were not worth of pursuing. He could still see Loki's face after he saw the gift. The surprise and the genuine joy.

The air moved as if something walked by him. Thor stiffened, his senses alert.

"Loki?"

 _"You know it's me, brother…"_

The feeling of his brother's presence was so strong Thor wouldn't be surprised if he emerged from the darkness next to him.

 _"Help me…"_

A sudden rush of anguish and pain filled Thor's heart but it wasn't _his_ … He was feeling _Loki's_ fear _Loki's_ pain. And the helplessness was unbearable. He threw the table away in frustration.

"Where are you?!" he shouted. "You know damn well I would _always_ help you!"

" _I am in the darkness…"_ Loki's voice echoed in Thor's mind. _"Where I belong… Save me, please…"_

* * *

"Why are you hiding, sweet child? I won't let anything hurt you."

She always spoke so kindly to him...

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm your mother," she said. "Come to me, child…"

Her beautiful white hands appeared in front of him and he hesitatingly reached his own. They were so little. A child's hands. She took them gently and brushed aside the hair fallen into his eyes. He closed them as she touched him.

"What are you afraid of?" she asked. He didn't open his eyes, too scared he would cast her away.

"Is there something wrong with me?" he asked silently, fearing the answer.

"Of course not," she said soothingly. "There is nothing wrong with you, my dear child."

And she pulled him into a close hug. He wrapped his arms around her hungrily, wanting to never let go.

The darkness came back and he was lost in the middle of it. The feeling of utter isolation was tearing him inside and he wanted to scream and run and disappear once for good, but he couldn't move and couldn't speak… The image of his brother flashed in Loki's mind.

 _Help me, brother… Don't judge me… Don't believe what you'll see…_

The memory of Thor blurred at once. It was like a heavy black curtain, blocking everything. The darkness was filling him; he himself was the darkness and the spreading cold. He was feeding on it. It was making him stronger, the power pulsing in him furiously and impatiently, waiting to be unleashed.

 _Who are you? The shadow… the death… and emptiness…_

Loki opened his eyes. He was back, sitting on the ice throne in the cave. He had a weird feeling like waking up from a dream he couldn't remember. There was a song… The woman was singing for him. He wanted her to silence the voices and she _did f_ or a while but she was a mere mortal and was too exhausted to continue after some time. And the voices came back and he would welcome them this time…

 _Go… go… seize it… spread the shadow… spread the doom… take it all… you must take it all… it belongs to you… you have every right…_

Loki took a deep breath and stood up. Raising his arms he saw them tremble slightly with energy and power. He smiled with a strange kind of joy. He walked down the throne, ignoring the woman on the ground.

"Where are you going?" she asked bud he didn't answer. He couldn't care less about her now.

 _Seize… take… kill… take it, it's all yours… you are the shadow… you are the death…_

Loki stretched his neck, cherishing the voices this time as he walked through the cave. He could hear the rock cracking as he was passing by. He felt his power flowing from his body in waves and when he raised his arm, bolts of unseen energy were shooting from it. The ice and stone was wailing around him like a wounded animal and a smile crept back on Loki's lips when he stood outside and took off to the night.

* * *

 **Review please, let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

Brenna's stomach was swirling with hunger. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten anything. She was curled in the coat, sitting on the ground and staring blankly into the cave. He had left some time ago but lightened the cave up after she had begged him to not leave her in the darkness again.

Should she go to look for her brothers and sister? She feared what she could find. And she knew about the complexity of the caves. The most likely outcome of her wander would be getting lost forever – but she would most probably die much sooner. Especially with no light.

Brenna fought against crying and inhaled shakily, rubbing her eyes. She hated to admit it but being alone here was almost worse than when he was around.

The cracking sound of freezing stone started approaching and she lifted her head. She knew what it meant and indeed saw him walking towards her. It was a relief his eyes were no longer red and the black veins on his face and neck diminished a bit, albeit they were still visible. He looked at her and she returned the look with confusion.

He was normal again, she thought. She had noticed before he had been slipping in and out into being normal and being… terrifying… She couldn't understand it and but very much preferred this state of his.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked her with genuine concern. Brenna couldn't supress laughter. He raised his eyebrows and she shook her head.

"You abducted me from my house, stole my brothers and sister and hid them somewhere, you keep me in this freezing cave with no food or anything and you ask if I am comfortable?" she asked in bewilderment. She shrugged then and sighed.

"Of course I am," she said then. "How couldn't I be?"

"I apologize, that was rude of me," he said with honesty. "I shall see to that."

"No, wait!" she stopped him as he was about to leave.

"I… I hate being alone here. Can't you bring my siblings? Please? I swear they can behave."

He was watching her with hesitation and… compassion? Brenna's heart started beating faster. This wasn't how a monster would look. What was wrong with him?

At the moment he squeezed his eyes shut and his fingers twitched.

"No…" he said with great strain. "Don't ask me that ever again, it's simply not possible."

"Fine," Brenna said quickly. She wasn't going to ruin being on good terms with him – however unstable that was.

"I won't. Just let me know if they are safe, I worry about them."

"They are safe, trust me," he said, opening his eyes and breathing in slowly.

"Thank you," she said and dared to give him a small smile. His face relaxed a bit then and even the cracking sound of frost decreased. And Brenna couldn't help herself but thought again how handsome he was. She scolded herself for it in her mind immediately.

"I will bring you something to eat," he said then. "You must be starving."

"No, not much," Brenna said while her stomach growled loudly.

"I mean… just a little bit," she said then, turning red. He nodded and turned but she stopped him once more.

"Could you… could you tell me your name?" she asked. "I would like to know what to call you."

"Don't tell me you wouldn't think of something," he said with a bitter smirk. " _Monster_ , perhaps…"

"I… Well, how would _you_ call someone taking you from your house in the middle of the night and threating your family?" Brenna said at her defence.

"My family?" he repeated silently. His eyes lowered to her then.

"You remind me of someone I once knew."

Brenna opened her mouth and hesitated before saying: "I really hope you liked that person, then."

"No, I _loved_ that person," he said. Brenna was staring at him with her eyes wide open. Was she imagining it or he _did_ seem somewhat baffled…

"My name is Loki," he said then, leaving her in shocked silence. Loki? So she was sharing space with the infamous and banished Asgardian god? Brenna seriously doubted there was anyone who wouldn't know the name and wouldn't immediately connected it with chaos and misery.

It seemed she was in lot more trouble than she thought.

* * *

The coldness in Vanaheimr was the first thing Thor found wrong. It was too severe for the place and he felt it wasn't natural. It was a coldness similar to the one in Jotunheimr yet it was different. They travelled the snow-covered landscape towards the dark mountains raising over the horizon and the freezing wind blew against them almost as if it knew what their intentions were.

"There is evil in the mountains, I can feel it," Sif said with her eyes fixed on the high peaks.

"Loki _could_ do that," Thor said. Sif turned at him.

"What are you going to do if it really is him?"

"I will stop him," Thor said. "And restore the peace in Vanaheimr."

"But what are you going to do with _him_?"

"He's been in the cell before," Thor said. "I I'll just put him back."

Sif shook her head.

"And if he fights back? If the only way to stop him is to kill him?"

"Then I'll do it," Thor said. But he just didn't want to consider that an option. He couldn't imagine he would actually do that. Loki was still his brother. And he would remain his brother no matter what. It didn't matter if they were or weren't brothers _by blood_. Thor knew there was nothing Loki could do that would erase that memory of him.

 _Save me, brother…_

He couldn't get it out of his head. He just knew that was _Loki_ and he knew he was calling for him to help him. It was no trick of his. Thor knew it wasn't.

"I don't want you to let your sympathy cloud your judgement," Sif said. Thor shot her an angry look.

"My judgement is fine, Sif, thank you," he said coldly. "And I want you to keep in mind Loki used to be a part of my family. That doesn't mean I would excuse what he's doing but don't expect me to be happy about killing him."

Sif took a deep breath, looking suddenly abashed.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known."

Thor shook his head.

"Forget about it."

"You were the only one seeing the good in him, though," Sif said.

"My mother was better at that," Thor said. "And that was because there _had been_ good in Loki."

"But there isn't any now, I'm afraid," Sif said, looking back to the mountains.

"Hey you two!" Volstagg joined them with Audun on his tail. "Are we chatting or walking? It's freezing here and I'm too old to have cold feet."

* * *

 **Hope you liked and let me know!**


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